Happy New Year! With this new year, why not start off with breaking bad relationship habits? Don't act like you do not have them, because everyone has something that they do with the opposite sex that they would like to change. So you drunk texted your ex, again, to tell him how much he should be missing you, while he is with the girl that he cheated on you with (Nice job). Maybe you met a guy and slept with him after knowing him for two hours, thinking that he could be the one and haven't heard from your dream man since (Good try). How about another blind date gone wrong because you spent an hour and a half discussing how Harry Potter is the most brilliant piece of literature ever written (I have not done this - Stop thinking it - Just an example!). Whether you just do not want to make the effort to do so or you do not realize that you have these habits until you are looking back on it, there is something in everyone's life that they would like to change, it is just about making the effort to do it.
If you really want to better yourself this year, you have to take a deep look at yourself and what you really want to see change. Example: You do not like the fact that you date the worst men, so you decide that you will pick better men to date this year. By deciding that, you can not just simply say that and be done with it. You have to look at where you have found these men and the type of men that you have dated in the past. If you have picked up every single guy that you have dated at the bar, time to raise your standards. If you have always been into the "bad boy", time to change your pattern. Bad habits in dating are cycles that we tend to keep repeating, not knowing anything different until we put it all together and realize that we have been doing these same things in all of our relationships.
Sometimes it is as simple as looking at the behavior that you are doing and think, "Do I really need to do this to get by?" While it may seem at the time that you do, you will end up regretting your action more than you will enjoy it. You repeat this bad behavior over and over again and expect a different outcome from performing it, but that will not happen. A perfect example of this would be texting while you have been drinking. Nine chances out of ten, it is a bad decision. Not only does it give off a bad impression, but if you picked up a "bad boy" they are falling in love with the sight of you in their bed that they will be seeing later and you can kiss a "normal" relationship goodbye. These habits will not get you any farther in a relationship and if they do, they are going to land you in the wrong relationship. It is time to move on from these bad habits, so you can find or perfect a relationship that can be great.
Bad habits have been something that have been on my mind for the past couple weeks. Whenever something bad has happened to me, I would want to see him. Whenever something good has happened, I would want to tell him. Whenever I was watching a movie he had given me or a show we had talked about, I would want to know his opinion. Whenever I was sad, I would want him to be the one to make me happy. So now that we are not "together" and I have told him that I can not be his friend right now, I have found these habits creeping up and annoying like an itch you can't scratch. I hadn't realized that I had done it until I looked back on text messages recently between my ex and myself, with every conversation being times where I had something big going on and needed him. Always running to him for relief had become a creature of habit and I was truly missing my friend.
So this week I broke an extreme habit; I broke it off with my ex once and for all by giving his things back. It was not his choice at all by avoiding it the past month to come get his things and making excuses every time we discussed it. This was a major excuse to keep trying to talk to him and we both knew it, making it extremely difficult to give up, but it was more difficult looking at his things in my bedroom everyday and having that constant reminder of him not being around. I had written a letter that I put with his things that I dropped off at his house, explaining why I was doing the things that I was doing and that I needed to do this for me for this new year. In return I have heard nothing. In the back of my mind I expected to hear nothing, but there is a part of me that will always be optimistic for him and the good guy that I know he can be. I have not tried to contact him since that day. Even though I want to lash out at him in every way possible for not contacting me, whether to be mad that I did what I did or at least to tell me he received the things, I have stuck to my guns and when the time is right, if ever, I hope that we will have that conversation that we need to. Until then I will keep forcing myself to stay strong and know that this is for the best. I wish that I can say that it is going to be easy for me to break this habit of not wanting to talk to him and know that everything is okay with him, but at least I know that I am starting the new year off right. If it is meant to be, it will be, but for right now, breaking this habit is the best stepping stone for me.
Repeat Song Of The Week:
"Restless Dream" - Jack's Mannequin. "It's funny how the words we never say can turn into the only thoughts we know". Not a lot of people have heard of this band, but they are my absolute favorite not only for the music itself, but the lyrics in their songs and this is the perfect example. The lead singer, Andrew McMahon is a genius when it comes to the music he writes and the heart that he puts into it. A break up is like a "restless dream", it seems like this never ending process that just keeps bringing thoughts back to everything that you want to forget and move on from.
Repeat Movie Of The Month:
One of my favorite books/movies - He's Just Not That Into You - Jennifer Aniston, Ben Affleck, Bradley Cooper, Justin Long and several other great actors/actresses. If you can't find a character to relate to, then you may be asexual or a nun, because they really touch on every possible relationship that can be out there. While it is a funny, romantic comedy, it also touches on things in relationships that you might not even realize that you are doing and can help you look at things differently.
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