Dating is a very awkward life situation. If someone tells you that they "love dating", they are straight out lying to your face. Having to go out to dinner with someone that you just met and putting them through an interview process, making sure that they are not a serial killer or drug dealer is bad enough, but then you are trying to remain calm and not get food all over yourself, making sure there is no tan line from where a wedding ring should be, investigating that he hasn't been on Maury for DNA testing of his ten children to ten different women, making sure that he doesn't have some weird foot fetish, debating if he is going to make you pay or go Dutch, all while wondering if this guy could be the next big thing in your life or you should just give up and get dessert.
While you will have some good dates in your life and meet some nice men, not all will be the best dates with these amazing men that you will want to spend the rest of your life with. Some will make you want to question whether becoming a nun and giving up on the male species once and for all can be a good thing or moving into a family where arranged marriages is an option. We have all had those moments. While those are very good life options to some people, for most that is not the best answer. Sometimes, just like with life in general, you have to pick yourself back up and laugh it off. Laughing off a bad experience is easier said than done, but once you do it and get used to using that method, you will learn that life gets a little easier. So you found out that he an unhealthy obsession with watching Sister Wives or that he enjoys dressing up like characters from Dungeons and Dragons on the weekends. Can you imagine yourself marrying him? Definitely not. Can you imagine the hilarious story that you will have this weekend when you go out with your girlfriends and the way that they will feel better because they are not alone in the disaster dating world? Yes! I know it is hard to keep putting yourself out there and it may feel like a waste of time, but eventually it will happen. There is 6 billion people in the world, so it may take some time to weed through the ones that aren't right for you. Just keep focused on that one person who is out there and right for you, because you know when you do find him or her, it will be worth it.
Example: It was our second date and we were still in that nervous/getting to know you kind of stage. He had invited me over for dinner, which I thought was a little too forward for the second date, but still stuck to it, knowing that if I turned him down I would regret it. I have literally been forcing myself to go out on dates since the break up, because I know that mentally it is good for me (Better than me just sitting in the house watching The Walking Dead reruns or seeing the same drunks that hit on me every weekend at the bar). After getting to his house, playing with his dog, watching a movie, enjoying a dinner cooked by a guy (something that hasn't ever happened to me before) and spending time with this new guy, I was beginning to think that I was on to something good. I had been so burned in the past, but this is the way that relationships were supposed to go and what I had been missing out on. While I did notice he was on his phone quite a bit, I was on mine just as much, texting my friends about the experience that I was having. There was an odd moment in the night where someone had come to the door and he had disappeared outside for a good bit of time. I didn't look outside or question who it was, I just kind of took the "oddness" into account and waited for him to explain. When he came back in, he had said that it was odd that his "friend of a friend" had shown up; That "friend of a friend" had texted him earlier in the day to tell him that he was in town and said nothing more. Kind of odd occurrence, but my life has odd moments as well, so I let it pass. As he continued with his phone, he proceeded to apologize and tell me the "friend of a friend" was coming back to the house to hang out. Now a normal guy would have said, sorry but I have a date here and we can hang tomorrow, but no, this guy said it was okay to come back. I played it cool and said that was fine, but then the kicker comes in. He did this awkward dance of pacing around the room, "When are we hanging out next?", "Will you be out for New Years, we can meet up!" and "You are leaving right?" Not only did he prefer to hang out with his "friend of a friend", he preferred I was not there. Whiplash set in and I felt like the odd man out in the twilight zone. "I hope you don't mind.." was the last thing I remember him saying, because mentally I was screaming, "I hope you don't mind when I never call you back again."
Maybe your situation was very similar to mine or maybe it was something much worse, in either case, you pick up and you move on. You laugh it off and write about it. You enjoy the stories you have later with your friends and family about how much of an idiot a guy can be. No way was I going to go home and cry over this date that had gone terribly wrong or dwell over what I may have done wrong, I went out. I had a drink with my friends and enjoyed their reactions to what had just happened. Laughing it off as he had put in the effort to get me out there, make me dinner, do everything to win a girl over, until that moment when it blew up in his face. Some girls would actually be okay with it or actually believe that his "friend of a friend" was a man coming over to watch football. Some girls will actually answer the phone when he calls to try to make plans or to meet up on New Years, but not this girl. I have come to that point in my life where I am tired of running after this childish behaviors and frankly, while everyone is insisting that we keep getting older and need to settle down soon, I am too young to settle for something like that. I thought maybe because he was four years older than me, had his own house, a teacher, had his stuff somewhat together, that he would be a better choice. NOPE. Boys will be boys and what we need ladies is a man. A man that will not be on his phone the entire time and pay some attention to you. A man that will cook you dinner and then actually want to spend time with you afterwards. A man that when friends call, will say that he is with you and maybe another night. A man that actually acts like a man is what you need ladies, so don't settle for anything less.
When a date goes wrong, pick yourself up and move on to the next one. As they say, "Never run after a bus or a man.. There will always be another one."
Repeat Song of the Week:
"Irreplaceable" - Beyoncé. Very fitting song for the week considering the circumstances. Never think that you have to depend on a boy and that they are the only one that you can find. Everyday is a new chance to find someone new, someone good, someone that is right for you. It doesn't mean that you have to settle for anyone or anything that isn't right for you or that isn't going to make you happy.
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